In the Shadow of Arabella Read online

  Putting both hands behind her head, he drew her slowly to him until his mouth closed over hers in a long, passionate kiss that sent icy shivers coursing through her. When he ran his hands down her back to her waist and pulled her close, she went willingly, and as she instinctively raised her arms about his neck, the quilt fell away.

  He finally released her mouth, his lips trailing down her neck to her shoulders.

  Her heart was pounding so violently that she found it difficult to breathe. She heard him whisper, “My God, Katherine, how I have longed to hold you.” He was kissing her again, his hands caressing her back, when suddenly she brought her hands to his chest as if she would hold him away.

  He released her instantly, his brows drawn together in concern. He clearly read the apprehension in her eyes.

  “Katherine,” he said earnestly, “surely you must know I love you … have loved you for weeks. I cannot bear to think you are afraid of me!” He looked searchingly at her, but she did not answer him. “You are afraid, are you not?” he insisted.

  “A little, yes.” She spoke so quietly that he could barely hear the words.

  He took her hands and held them gently. “As well as you know me now,” he asked, “can you truly believe I would do anything to harm you? Surely you have not allowed yourself to believe the old wives’ tale, the one that claims husbands to be monsters who use their wives abominably, simply to satisfy their own desires? It is not true, Katherine.”

  He was startled when his words elicited a spirited response from her. “There are most certainly men who treat women badly. I have known several.”

  “Very well,” he conceded, “there are some who do. I, however, do not number myself among them. Katherine … look at me.” She obeyed him and he saw tears standing in her eyes. “You are my wife, not my possession. I cherish you, and I hope to God I shall never give you any reason to fear or mistrust me. Come,” he said, rising to his feet. “You are shivering. I will take you back to your room.”

  Rudley led Katherine to her bedchamber and saw her into bed. He snuffed out her candles and, pausing only to say good night, returned to his own room. He poured himself some brandy, took it to a chair near the fire, and sat staring into the flames as if in them he would find some explanation for Katherine’s unusual behavior.

  When he had seen her in his room his heart had soared, for he felt this was her way of telling him that she was prepared for their relationship to progress. She had responded to his kiss with as much warmth as he could desire, but she had just as certainly pushed him away. He suspected he was still competing with the specter of Parnaby and knew instinctively that he could not force the issue. He was a patient man and he would be content to wait. As much as he wanted her— even more did he want her to come to him willingly.

  No sooner had the door closed behind Rudley than Katherine was out of bed again. This time she put on her slippers, pulled the golden counterpane from her bed, and dragged it with her to the window. She drew open the heavy curtain, gathered the coverlet about her, and curled up in the window seat. A crescent moon hung over the lake and was reflected in its black surface. She could see that it was setting and before long would fall behind the trees along the ridge.

  She smiled. Ned said he loved her. She had wondered; now she knew. Yet she realized she had not needed the words to tell her what her heart had already guessed. For weeks past she had felt his love for her in the gentleness of his touch, heard it in the softness of his voice, seen it in the tenderness in his eyes. From the moment he began kissing her, she felt an awakening within herself—a desire and a need to return his embrace. She had not wanted to stop him, but some demon memory overpowered her, preying on the tiny doubt that remained.

  Rudley’s actions tonight had laid that last doubt to rest. He had placed her needs before his own without question and without hesitation. And was that not really what love was, after all? Putting the loved one first? For weeks he had been the most patient of husbands, while she had been less than an appreciative, dutiful wife. When next they were together, she was determined to be the wife he deserved.

  Katherine slept late the following morning. When she finally went down to breakfast, she found a note from her husband awaiting her.

  My dearest Katherine,

  I have received by messenger this morning an urgent note from my brother John. My presence is required in London immediately to attend to some family matters. I am sorry I could not wait to say good-bye. I did not intend to leave you alone for Nick’s homecoming, but I have every confidence you will handle all admirably. With any luck I should be home again by tomorrow evening and shall look forward to seeing you then.

  Ned

  Katherine was disappointed. She would miss him, but she was determined he would have only good reports of how the house had been run in his absence. She kept busy with her needlework most of the morning and was happy for the diversion when Master Nicholas arrived in the early afternoon.

  Nicholas was exactly as Rudley had described him: a veritable powerhouse of a boy, impish and blond, with the brightest of temperaments. He was delighted to be home but full of news about his stay with his grandparents and the adventures he and his papa had had there. Pamela soaked up every word, seeming to enjoy hearing about the exploits as much as Nick had enjoyed participating in them.

  Later that day the three of them rode together, Katherine on Karma and the children on their ponies. One of the grooms offered to take the children, but Katherine insisted she enjoyed their company. Their constant chatter distracted her enough to keep her from missing her husband.

  The following day was overcast and before midday it began to rain. The children were busy in the schoolroom, and Katherine was restless. When the sky cleared somewhat in the late afternoon, she decided to try a short ride. She would take the lane toward London, and if she was lucky, perhaps she would meet Rudley coming home.

  At the stables Henderson was hesitant when she ordered Karma saddled. “Like as not you will get a good soaking if you go out now, m’lady. I doubt the rain has stopped for long.”

  “I shall take my chances, Henderson. If I should get wet, believe me, it will not be the first time.” It was not his place to argue with his mistress, so without further comment he had the mare saddled. Within a few moments, declining the company of a groom, Katherine trotted off down the drive.

  To her displeasure Henderson’s prophecy proved correct. She had gone something less than a mile when the rain began again. It was not heavy but steady, and in no time Katherine found herself quite soaked. Although she actually enjoyed riding in the rain, being wet and therefore chilled was not pleasant.

  Reluctantly, she turned Karma toward home. Katherine may have been enjoying the weather, but Karma seemed not to share her enthusiasm, for no sooner had Katherine turned her about than the mare quickened her pace. A warm, dry loose box was undoubtedly her notion of the best place to spend a rainy evening.

  When Katherine trotted into the stable, she saw to her surprise that the earl’s chestnuts had been unharnessed and were being rubbed down. “Henderson, when did his lordship return?”

  “He arrived almost fifteen minutes ago, m’lady, considerably wetter than you are, I would say.”

  Katherine laughed. “I do not see how that could be possible. Nor do I see how I missed him on the road.”

  “Most likely he took a shorter way, m’lady, to save time.’’

  Gathering her hood close about her face, Katherine hurried across the lawns to the house. There was a young footman on duty at the front door, and she realized that the butler and most of the other servants were at dinner. As Katherine ascended the staircase, he said, “I shall send Bess up directly, m’lady.”

  “No, please, Gordon, do not take her from her meal. I do not need her.”

  He shrugged his shoulders at this and returned to his post at the door.

  Katherine entered her bedchamber to find Rudley toweling his hair before her fire. He had alread
y changed into dry clothes, and he glanced up as the door opened. “Good God, Katherine!” he exclaimed at the sight of her. “Were you also caught in the rain?”

  “No. I rode out in it purposely, hoping to meet you, but we missed each other.’’

  “I hope you don’t mind my using your fire,” he apologized. “Mine was not lit.”

  “I don’t mind in the least, but you should let me help with your hair. You are making a poor job of it. Where is your valet?”

  “I came in by the side door. No one knows I am here.”

  “Welcome home, my lord. We missed you.”

  “We?” he teased.

  “Very well, I missed you,” she confessed.

  “Turn around,” he commanded. “I will help with your buttons.’’ Her riding habit buttoned up the back, a detail she had forgotten when she so cavalierly rejected the services of her maid. She turned her back to the fire so he could see the small buttons; in no time at all he had them open for her.

  “You are very quick, sir. I wonder, have I discovered yet another hidden talent?’’ She cast a look of amused innocence at him and saw a slight smile curling his lips and a glint of appreciation in his eyes.

  “I have a great many skills, Katherine, most of which you know nothing about.” He picked up a wrapper from the foot of the bed. “Here, put this on, then we will see if I can help you dry your hair.’’ She took the wrapper from him and disappeared into the dressing room. She was gone only a few minutes. When she returned, she was struggling to pull the pins from her wet, tangled hair. Rudley sat in a chair near the fire. “Come,” he said. “Sit on the floor at my feet and I will rub it dry.”

  “This reminds me of when I was a little girl,” Katherine said, complying with his request. “My mother had me sit like this to dry my hair.’’

  “And in a few years’ time, no doubt, you might be drying your daughter’s hair in much the same way.’’

  “I want children, Ned, very much!” she said impulsively.

  He bent his head to place a kiss on her neck and felt her tremble at his touch. His lips were close to her ear as he spoke softly. “In order to have children, my love, we must first have a marriage in more than name only.”

  She rose to her knees and turned to face him. “I want that, too.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, perfectly. I believe you love me … and I want you to make love to me. And I do trust you, Ned … completely.”

  After such a confession he could not resist kissing her. When he could pull himself away, he rose and crossed to the door, sliding the bolt home. He then did the same with the communicating door to his own rooms.

  “What will the servants think?” she asked.

  “They will think we do not wish to be disturbed.”

  *

  Chapter 15

  Determined as Katherine was to put her memories of James behind her, she was to find that such resolve was not completely possible. But if Rudley found his young wife shy and tense, she found in him nothing but infinite tenderness. He was gentle and patient, passionate but not demanding, and she found herself lulled by the security his love offered. By the end of a week her memory of James had been reduced to the status of a dream, and she was content to leave it so. She and Rudley spent their daytime hours much as before, but now their nights also were spent together, laughing, loving, and finally sleeping in each other’s arms.

  The final week of June offered a string of warm, sunny days. Katherine and Rudley had ridden far one morning and on their return stopped to visit with farmer Merchant.

  “My best draft mare dropped a fine filly this mornin’, m’lord. She come early so I’ll be able to send back the geldin’ Mr. Kendall has lent me to do the field work.”

  “Could we see the foal, Mr. Merchant?” Katherine asked.

  “Why, for certain, m’lady, she is over here to the barn.”

  The new filly was tall and big-boned, so different from the spindly legged, fine-boned foals produced by Rudley’s thoroughbreds. But she was certainly beautiful and appeared strong and healthy.

  “She is indeed a fine-looking filly, Merchant,” the earl said. “I can see why you are proud of her. We will hope she grows to be as willing a worker, with as fair a temperament, as her dam.’’ He patted the huge mare as she stood calmly enjoying the attention. She was not in the least concerned to have three humans sharing the stall with her foal. The filly started nosing around for more milk, so they left her to her meal and walked back to where two of the Merchant boys were holding their horses.

  On their ride home they enjoyed a conversation concerning the various breeds of draft horses being used by the farmers on the estate. When they arrived at the house, Katherine kicked her foot free of the stirrup and slid to the ground, but as she landed she was overcome by a wave of dizziness so strong that she had to clutch at Karma’s saddle to keep from falling.

  “Katherine, is something wrong?” Rudley’s voice showed concern as he noticed her strange behavior and stepped toward her. As a groom led the horses away she took the earl’s arm gratefully.

  “I was suddenly dizzy,” she explained. “I am probably hungry. I had no appetite for breakfast and we are late for luncheon again, are we not?”

  “Yes, I am afraid we are. Have you noticed that Mrs. Simpson is no longer preparing delicate perishable dishes for us at midday?”

  “Yes, I have noticed. And we can hardly blame her, for we are never on time for the meal.’’

  They had taken only a few steps toward the house when Katherine stopped again. After one look at her pale countenance Rudley lifted her in his arms and carried her into the hall. Reeves hurried forward.

  “Her ladyship is feeling faint, Reeves. Have Mrs. Windom come upstairs and send one of the grooms for Dr. Bailey.” Appearing outwardly calm, Rudley was nevertheless uneasy. He did not actually believe that simple hunger could make a person faint. He carried Katherine to her bedchamber and laid her gently on the bed. After pouring water into the basin, he dampened a cloth and was bathing her forehead when Mrs. Windom hurried in.

  “Mr. Reeves said her ladyship was feeling poorly, my lord. I have brought my smelling salts.”

  “She is not unconscious, Mrs. Windom. But I think if we could pull these boots off, she would be more comfortable.” Together they removed the boots and then covered Katherine with a light blanket.

  Taking her hand in his, Rudley asked, “How do you feel now?”

  “Better, I think.”

  “Do you make a habit of fainting?”

  “I have fainted only once before in my life. That night at the ball. You remember.”

  He nodded. “I have sent for the doctor and he should be here directly. It is probably nothing, but it will be best if he has a look at you, just to be safe.” Bess came into the room then and Rudley excused himself, knowing the women would want to have Katherine undressed and properly between sheets so she could rest more comfortably.

  Some time later Dr. Bailey opened Katherine’s bedchamber door to find the earl restlessly pacing the corridor outside. Rudley turned anxious, questioning eyes to the doctor, a worried frown wrinkling his handsome brow.

  “You may come in, my lord,” the doctor said. “I have finished with my examination.”

  “And have you found anything amiss, Doctor?” the earl asked.

  “Not precisely amiss, my lord, but I think I can tell you what has caused your wife to swoon.” Katherine, dressed now in a demure white nightgown and wrapper, had been sitting on the window seat, but as the doctor spoke she rose and took a few steps toward him. “Congratulations, my lord,” the doctor said, a bright smile on his friendly face. “I suspect you are about to become a father again!”

  Several tense moments passed while all three stood in silence. Finally Rudley spoke, his voice incredulous. “Katherine is increasing?”

  “It is very early still,” the doctor replied, “but I am nearly certain it is what caused her ladyship to swoon.
In another week or two, I will be certain.”

  Rudley’s glance shifted to Katherine and he saw her staring at the doctor in puzzled disbelief.

  “I suspect the fainting is only a temporary problem,” Dr. Bailey said, “and should pass in a few days’ time. Get plenty of rest, my lady, and regular meals, and I am sure you understand you should not ride in your condition.”

  Rudley walked the doctor to the door, then returned to confront his still-silent wife. “Have you nothing to say?” he asked. “Are you not pleased?”

  “I … I just cannot believe … How can it be so soon?”

  “How do you mean?”

  “Does it not take longer? My parents were married seven years before I was born. I assumed it would take more time.”

  Rudley led her back to the window seat and sat beside her, taking her limp hands in his. “It is true that in some marriages a deal of time passes before the couple has children, but other times it happens quickly, as it has with us. I believe that in each month there is a chance pregnancy will occur.”

  She listened to his words with interest, a look of wonder on her face. “Truly? I never imagined. It is so hard to believe. Just a few weeks ago I was saying I wanted children, and now I will soon be a mother.”

  A tentative smile lit her face and tears threatened. “What about you, Ned?” she asked, her hands finally finding life and returning the pressure of his. “Are you pleased?”

  He smiled. “I would like a son, if you should be kind enough to give me one.” Then, anticipating her next question, he added, “But should the child be a girl, she will be equally welcomed.”

  The summer months passed in a daze for Katherine. Her husband was more attentive than ever. The servants, already disposed to like their amiable, generous mistress, were pleased that she would be supplying the earldom with a child the following year. Secretly they all hoped for a boy but planned on a little wagering when the time drew nearer.